The insulting charge intrigued me because I know that it was designed to cow anyone that might dare to disagree with the person sat in the office of the Nigerian President...
When Sowore declared his Orange Revolution, I was unsparing in condemning him, and I labeled his call idiotic. Heresy! Shouted his young acolytes, I even read a post by a young and misinformed comrade, who rationalized my position as having been informed by either jealousy, and or envy. I laughed. I laughed in the knowledge that history shall vindicate me.
I, in the same series of posts condemning what I believed to be Sowore’s premature ejaculation, railed against the institutional imbecility of the Nigerian state, and its security agencies. Pointed out how the very act of arresting Sowore, was stupid, myopic, and ultimately unhelpful. I had no doubt on my mind that the response of the state was disproportionate, and not in any way related to national security.
Before the the state dragged Sowore before the court to get its remand order, the airwaves were saturated with tales of Sowore in Dubai, receiving filthy lucre from the Atiku loot left over from financing Buhari’s 2015 elections, and his own misadventure of 2019. Pictures of Sowore meeting with the Biafran linchpin were equally released. Buharists and Buharidindinrins crowed about the evil plot to destabilize the country. The orange dye in Sowore’s berets are made from radioactive materials that dissolves common sense, they alleged.
Since the DSS have to pretend that we are in a democracy, a game at which they are particularly adept, Sowore’s detention had to be regularized, and the man was hauled before the court. The state that had already convicted the man before he was arrested, demanded to be granted 90 days to host the Orange Revolutionary, but the court in a rare show of unfamiliar bravery, halved the number of days asked by the DSS. The court presumed to know better than the DSS: the judge, the jury, and executioner. The almighty custodians of our national security.
I am offering these backgrounds, because context is necessary to an understanding of the position that I am interested in advancing, and in order to make clear to those who would in their wisdom seek to preach peace to the oppressed, showing off their fetters as though they be ornamental adornments. Keep your preachments to yourself, I have no need for it, or any use for you. You have every right to your beloved fetters, but you must recognize that my own choices are considered, deliberate, and intentional.
I was particularly intrigued by the fact that one of the charges against Sowore is the one that relates to “insulting the president”. This is without prejudice to the charge of treason, and other equally serious, but fact challenged charges against Sowore and Mandate. The insulting charge intrigued me because I know that it was designed to cow anyone that might dare to disagree with the person sat in the office of the Nigerian President. It wasn’t Buhari’s law, and it is not Buhari that I seek to challenge, but I consider it my historical duty, at this point in time, to assert my democratic right to insult, and abuse, the president of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.
Buhari’s hate speech to the Nigerian peoples on the occasion of the Independence Day, further reinforces my determination to exercise my God given and completely human right to be stupid, and to vulgarly abuse any and all democratically elected officials of the Nigerian state, at any level, however, and whenever I care to.
Kin’ni soja eh bi’mo ire 2ce🎵
Bi o bi kumo, a bi kondo
Kin’ni soja eh bi’mo ire!🎵
I took my first steps in the ancient city of Ibadan. We had an annual festival “Oke Ibadan” dedicated to the art of vulgar abuse. Street gangs of young boys and girls would run around singing all kinds of lewd ballads and ditties. It was for us as kids a celebration of silliness. The completely Yoruba art of vulgar abuse would be taken up a notch, and we all poked fun at each other. I am going back to my roots.
When Obasanjo started with his 3rd term shenanigans, I in protest began to grow an Afro. When I failed to finish my book by the deadline that I had set for myself in response to my procrastinations, I took away my right to shave my facial hair. I have dealt with the subject in the chapter I titled The Hirsute Revolution, in my book. Now that Buhari is unfurling his fascist banner, let me also make my stand clear: I will be posting daily insults of the democratically elected president of the Nigerian state, I will consider it a great honor and a privilege, to be arrested for doing so, and I look forward to it.
In my university days, when LASU was in the throes of the Cult Wars, I consciously refused to address the different cults or fraternities by their known names. It was a deliberate decision. The students and staff were terrorized. Students were brandishing guns, cudgels, and blades of all shapes and sizes in broad daylight. I had witnessed a parent with his daughter, cowering underneath the faculty officer’s desk in the Law faculty, with bullets flying around outside and the man audibly praying that they survived the ordeal, with a promise to his Jambite daughter, that he was going to send her to school in the UK as she had preferred, and he had hitherto refused.
I had to delegitimize the cults. Eku, Eja, Sibi, Obe, etc became the names by which I would collectively refer to the cults. I refused to publicly acknowledge them as individual entities, and I began to emphasize the fact that our studentship of LASU, was the common denominating factor for all of us. Regardless of whether you were a member of a fraternity or a Jew man, as uninitiated men like myself were called. We found common ground as fellow students, and our school and selves were the beneficiaries of the resultant peace.
I have no Afro to grow again: I already have one. Biabia sef, I get. There’s no way to extend the hirsute revolution within the boundaries of personal decency, and I am not about to walk the street with a placard, so Buhari will have to manage my daily abuse of his fragile ego.
This is one of those times, when I humbly ask that you please share. Thank you.
Published 2 October, 2019.